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A place where I can lament the changing times; for eccentric comments on current affairs and for unfashionable views, expressed I hope, in cogent style; also occasional cris de coeur largely concerned, I regret to say, with myself.



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Showing posts with label Private Eye. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Private Eye. Show all posts

Wednesday, 19 February 2014

621: A Powerful Ally

Today,  the  BBC tells us that Mrs Charlie Brooks, currently up before the beak as a consequence of the phone-hacking revelations, has had recourse to advice from the Great Panjandrum himself, Mr Tony Bliar, conspicuous for having made an enormous pile of money, for his exceptional capacity for economy with the actualité, and for his outstanding achievements as Middle East Peace Envoy.

With Bliar on side, then it must be a definite "Not Guilty" surely?

As the Eye loves to add in such circumstances, "Trebles all round!"

Until the next time.

Thursday, 6 February 2014

609: Plebgate

It is not easy for me to explain why I have resisted the urge to comment on this farce; all the traditional (for me) elements were present after all!

ple·be·ian

[pli-be-uh-n] Show IPA

adjective
1.
belonging or pertaining to the common people.
2.
of, pertaining to, or belonging to the ancient Roman plebs.
3.
common, commonplace, or vulgar: a plebeian joke.

So the rather unprepossessing Police Constable Keith Wallis has been sentenced to a year in what he probably knows as "the slammer."  His defence counsel informed the court that his client had been "suffering from mental health problems" and in addition he was alleged to have been drunk at the time of the offence.

 Keith Wallis
 The unprepossessing P.C. Keith Wallis.  Image BBC

There are one or two matters arising from this case.

First (being serious) this officer was a member of the Diplomatic Protection Squad; if it is true that Wallis had the  "mental health problems" claimed, then why was he employed in such a sensitive division of the Police Force?  Indeed, why was he in the Police at all?  Do these diplomatic protection officers carry arms?  As Private Eye likes to ask from time to time, I think we should be told.

Second, much was made of Mr Andrew Mitchell's swearing and especially use of the word "plebs."  Where's the problem?  I would be willing to bet that the individuals concerned are indeed plebeians as are the majority of the population; why the sensitivity?

I can offer an answer to the rhetorical question that concluded my last paragraph, thereby I suppose, de-rhetoricising it.  I offer the explanation that whilst it is perfectly acceptable in these so-called democratic times to abuse individuals for being "posh," "snobs," for having attended a public school, or for membership of e.g. The Bullingdon Club, any reference to the lower classes in any sense perceived by said lower classes as derogatory, is practically a crime.

Double standards again I fear; quelle surprise.

Actually, I suggest that the greatest shock is the revelation that a member of the police lied!  Ho ho ho.

Until the next time.

Monday, 16 December 2013

Thank You Private Eye

Yes, a big thank you to one of my favourite publications - the last issue desperately awaited following the death of Nelson Mandela and the absurd over-reaction of the world's media.

Private Eye's latest edition included a full page of suitable and very amusing, antidotes.  "Free-eeeeeeeeeee Lawson Nigella" was especially entertaining.

I watched two blokes, one a Labour M.P. last week on the television.  One of them said something along the following lines: "If we say that Adolf Hitler was the worst man of the twentieth century, then we can say that Mandela was the greatest."

I of course expostulated that this was rubbish.  Mandela was indeed a great man, brave and showing resolute leadership at a difficult time. Hitler was of course an awful man, but I think that Mao Tse Tung and Stalin were worse than he - at least judging by body-count. And as for "the greatest" my list would have to include Franklin D. Roosevelt and Winston S. Churchill, who together saved western civilisation. (I do of course recognise Soviet Russia's vast contribution, but find my gorge rising when I think of the then Soviet leader and his numerous toadies).

Until the next time

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Bloody St Valentine's Day II

Cartoon from Private Eye

A year ago, I wrote a piece on this accursed day; "Bloody St Valentine's Day."
[Circumstances oblige me to post this a day early].

Returning to things we have done in the pits of depression and despair often prompts remorse, or regret; not this time however.

I stand by every word I wrote and whilst naturally the pain is no longer as sharp as it was a year ago, it is ever-present - as are the feelings that caused it.

Meanwhile, today the BBC has a seasonal piece on the subject of love.  It includes the following:

"Standing in love, though, is the capacity to be with someone and be free with someone. It too feels good [i.e. as romantic love], though for difference reasons. It can allow more subtle qualities to come to the fore, such as commitment and generosity, honesty and openness. It welcomes life."

Yeah, well, this was what I was promised - indeed what we promised to each other - what 'we' were supposed to be working towards.  So that was a load of bollocks wasn't it?

Until the next time


Tuesday, 11 December 2012

Big Brother Lives - More Internet Stuff

BBC News today carries the story that the Big Brother bill is still alive although it is to be re-drafted.

A simple search on this blog using the words "Big Brother" will reveal that I am distinctly disapproving of this project, which has been under consideration for some time.  Indeed as I have remarked before, I consider that there is already more than enough government.  Also, this will be an expensive project - doubly so since the British government has a long history of very expensive failures in connexion with Information Technology, usually reported at length by Private Eye.  Recent examples include the splendid telephones cock-up at the BBC and Fujitsu's farcical performance at the NHS.

And we are supposed to be able to trust these people with our data? There have been too many cases of government officials leaving laptops in cars or even simply losing them.

Terrifying I think, although as with almost everything, there is a small silver lining: apparently Liberal Democratic leader Nick Clegg is opposed to the scheme; finally something on which he and I can agree - and something which will serve to justify his existence.

Until the next time

Thursday, 19 May 2011

Osama Bin Laden & DSK

I suppose I'm a bit late writing about this (Bin Liner) affair.

Not much to say really; there are suggestions that his assassination was illegal.

Guess what? I don't give a rat's arse whether his assassination was illegal or not; good riddance to bad rubbish.

Tragic that there are so many other fanatics ready to take his place; I wonder how he's getting on with his 72 virgins?

Perhaps DSK will convert to Islam?

In Private Eye, Craig Brown writes the excellent "Diary" for each edition. One purported to report the words of the late Harold Macmillan, Earl of Stockton, formerly British prime minister, who had to endure the famous Christine Keeler scandal in 1963. Craig Brown has his Macmillan saying that (Secretary of State for War) John Profumo had had a little trouble in the "trouser department"; all I can say is that from what I have read, it seems that Dominique Strauss-Kahn has "form" in this regard, even if the current allegations are proven not to be true. One example is this story which appeared in the Telegraph today.

Until the next time.

Sunday, 20 February 2011

More Anti-Smoker/Smoking Balls

First I begin with a site from Canada, called Citizens Against Government Encroachment.

I reproduce the latest article in full, since I consider it vitally important:

INSIDE THE TOBACCO CONTROL INDUSTRY AND THEIR DECEITFUL TACTICS

When it comes to the smoking issue (and to a lesser extent the obesity issue), many people have expressed to us how amazed, baffled and even disgusted they are at how some of our fellow citizens have turned into arrogant, obnoxious, hateful individuals almost overnight.
Indeed, as we read open letters to the various media, listen to open lines on the radio or television, follow newspaper and other forums on the internet, we can not help but notice how ugly some individuals become when they hide behind the veil of relative anonymity. When opponents of banning smoking scenes in movies attempted to have a civil debate in a CBC forum, one poster using the alias of Dennis Brady had this to say :

“Smoking is hated - as is any foul smelling addiction. We would have no less disgust for people whose habit was sh*ting on public beaches or on park benches. We would be as disgusted by people who refused to bath or use deodorant.

We DO want smokers segregated - removed from all contact with non-smokers.

Do you understand? Need I repeat it”

In a Globe & Mail forum about beach bans, one poster using the alias “doggiez” suggested this final solution to the “problem”:

“Put even MORE cancer-causing chemicals -- tar, formaldehyde and the other 700 -- into cigarettes to hasten their deaths.”

When challenged with logical arguments and unable to offer any reasonable responses, many such commentators accuse their opponents of being in the pay of what they refer to as “Big Tobacco”. Here is a response from the so-called “Dennis Brady” that is typical of many smoker de-normalization proponents with very little substance to defend their point of view:

''The people have learned to never trust anything coming from the tobacco industry or its shills and apologists.''

You may want to read or reread how C.A.G.E. was also a victim of the same tactic: ''THE RIGHT THING TO DO'' NSRA STYLE
We strongly suspected that this hostile attitude demonstrated toward individuals or associations with differing opinions were not the doings of ordinary citizens, however one must always give the benefit of doubt: perhaps public opinion had changed overnight when public smoking bans were adopted? Well, you can relax folks. All this time, it was not your next door neighbor, co-worker, friend or relative who was turning into an aggressive “Mr. Hyde” when protected by the cover of anonymity. We now have tangible proof that most of the people who are posting obnoxious and hateful material are simply following orders from the anti-tobacco industry:

We have obtained the manual on how to effectively implement outdoor bans published in September 2010 by Physicians For A Smoke-Free Canada (PSFC) : SMOKEFREE OUTDOOR PUBLIC SPACES: A COMMUNITY ADVOCACY TOOLKIT.

We share with you here below a few of the more disappointing passages that we have uncovered.

For proof that they have tobacco control advocates planted in the various internet forums look at the footnotes on the page that gives advice on how to refute arguments from the tobacco industry or their ‘’front groups’’ (page 22):

‘’ Comments from tobacco control advocates also appear refuting “Vince’s” comments. Accessed August 6, 2010 at http://openfile.ca/node/908/.’’

Note that we at C.A.G.E. know ‘’Vince’’ and we can assure you that he is an authentic grassroots poster from Manitoba who has absolutely nothing to do with the tobacco industry.
Also appalling and very hypocritical is the manner in which they recommend infiltrating their opponents whom they conveniently label as “the tobacco industry and their front groups” :

“Whether they are funded by the industry or not, to stay on top of any organized opposition sign up for their mailing lists, preferably using an alias. You can also search online for organizations that oppose your campaign and sign up to receive email alerts, preferably at a home email address or some other location that doesn't link you to your position in the coalition. Be sure to share these communications with your key coalition members so that everyone is in the loop and you can collectively decide how to counter the industry most effectively.”

The entire 101 page manual is a most interesting document that exposes the tactics of the anti-tobacco industry and we suspect that after they see us bringing this document to the attention of the public, it will quickly be altered or totally vanish. Not to worry we have made back- up copies in anticipation. The following are some of their other tactics and while they did not shock us as much because we had noticed them practicing these strategies since a long time, we are, nonetheless, surprised that they would be so arrogant and self-confident as to make their tactics public.

.....write (or sign ghost written) letters to the editor, etc. (pages 31 & 33)

.....submit at least two letters to the editor each month during the campaign, under the names of different authors”. (page 33)

.......Nothing can ruin a campaign faster than public disclosure of financial wrongdoing (intentional or unintentional) ? something your opponents would love to expose if given the opportunity. (page 34)

Interestingly, in the following paragraph they acknowledge that there are in fact authentic citizens (labeled as angry smokers) expressing themselves and that it is not the tobacco industry and their ‘’front groups’’ who are doing the complaining. Furthermore, they are acknowledging that most non-smokers don’t complain leaving us to conclude that indeed most of what we read in the various media must therefore be plants of the tobacco control industry.


....... A key aspect of any smoke-free campaign is to mobilize the silent majority. Most non-smokers do not speak out against smoking, but you have to tap into their power to win your case. Angry smokers who feel they are losing what they feel is their right to smoke will likely speak out in a variety of ways
--- letters to the editor, comments sections of online articles, radio call-in shows, etc. Their voices can seem very loud, even though they represent a significant minority of the population. (page 36)


........ For the next few months, strive to ensure there are positive media stories, letters to the editor, etc., that tout how well the bylaw changes are working. There will no doubt be a backlash from smokers in the beginning until they get used to the changes. In the meantime, you have to counter their negative comments in the media, in comment sections of online news pieces and blogs, on radio call-in shows, etc. Your job is to make politicians continue to believe that they did the right thing. It is not unheard of for councillors to backtrack on their decision and water down legislation. (page 48)

........ Plant stories in the media about non-smokers politely asking smokers to move to a designated smoking area or outside the smoke-free area and smokers complying. Create the impression that the bylaw is working and it will! (page 48)

There are many other examples, far too many to list here, but we invite you to peruse the whole document yourself and get an eye-opening education about how anti-tobacco operates. The late Gian Turci often said that this was a war. Sometimes we thought he exaggerated. To our dear freedom and justice-loving friends, we must now admit that Gian was right and that this is in fact a real war. But rest assured that we will continue to use the truth as our only weapon because when this war will be over, we do not only want to stand victorious but we also want to stand proud for not having stooped to such depths of deceit.
*************************

Sunday, 27 June 2010

Perspective

I am a long-term reader of the English satirical magazine, Private Eye.

This fortnightly, currently celebrating its 50th birthday, is amongst my favourite reading, its happy combination of conscience and humour generally being irresistable to me.

A regular feature - and the motivation in fact for this post - is "Number Crunching" where comparisons are made between two sets of figures to make a point. A recent example contrasted the 18 months' prison sentence handed down to a single mother who had lied to the authorities concerning housing benefit payments amounting to a total of around £40,000, and an MP who had fiddled his parliamentary expenses (also around £40,000). The MP undertook to repay the sum and was described as honourable/honest etc... No jail sentence then!

The latest issue contains the following example. I feel that I need not comment further.

From Private Eye Issue No 1265
Until the next time

Wednesday, 13 January 2010

Film Stuff

I admit it: I am a misfit.

When I was a boy, I would, like my friends, go to the "pictures" as films or "movies" (ugh) were known at the time in England. In those days, at least in my circle, a film was usually defined by the principal actor and/or actress appearing in it e.g. "Have you seen the new John Wayne film?".

I can remember my first date: the girl's name was Diana Terry and we went to see a Gregory Peck film called "The Counterfeit Traitor." The date was a wash-out incidentally, though I do not think that Mr Peck, his supporting cast or even the director of the film (whoever he might have been) were in any way responsible for the disappointment.

At some time in succeeding years I became aware that films began (or so it seemed to me) to be identified by the name of the Director. I simply do not understand this business; I suppose that there are people who without prior knowledge, could possibly know who directed a particular film, rather as a Master of Wine could perhaps identify a year or vineyard etc. at a wine tasting. I think of a Director as a bloke with a canvas folding chair with his name on the back, a pair of riding-breeches and one of those telescope-type things around his neck. God knows what (generally) he does.

I have my favourite films of course, a number of which I have watched many times; in some cases I can name the director, but to me this is more or less a duty these days!

Anyway, one of my favourites is "The Third Man" which starred Joseph Cotten, Trevor Howard and of course, its Director Orson Welles. At Christmas time I saw a documentary in two parts about Welles, and began to realise why he made such good films - that is films I enjoy.

The experience prompted me to research Welles on the Internet and whilst doing so came upon some quotes from another Director one Ingemar Bergman. Here is his opinion of Welles:

"For me he's just a hoax. It's empty. It's not interesting. It's dead. Citizen Kane, which I have a copy of — is all the critics' darling, always at the top of every poll taken, but I think it's a total bore. Above all, the performances are worthless. The amount of respect that movie's got is absolutely unbelievable." Source

I once saw one of Mr Bergman's films. It was dull, depressing, unintelligible rubbish and very boring, even Truffaut's "Last Metro" (one that made little or no sense) wasn't as bad; I suppose that Bergman is to films what Pinter is to plays.

Anyway the same source provides more quotes from Bergman. The next I offer is profoundly precious and makes the man a worthy candidate for Private Eye's 'Pseuds Corner':

"I don't watch my own films very often. I become so jittery and ready to cry."

Well Mr Bergman, I felt like crying too when I wasted a couple of hours on one of your efforts.

He is interesting though on Antonioni ("Blow Up" being one of my favourites):

He's done two masterpieces, you don't have to bother with the rest. One is Blow-Up, which I've seen many times, and the other is La Notte, also a wonderful film, although that's mostly because of the young Jeanne Moreau. In my collection I have a copy of Il Grido, and damn what a boring movie it is. So devilishly sad, I mean. You know, Antonioni never really learned the trade... He concentrated on single images, never realising that film is a rhythmic flow of images, a movement. Sure, there are brilliant moments in his films. But I don't feel anything for L'Avventura, for example. Only indifference. I never understood why Antonioni was so incredibly applauded. And I thought his muse Monica Vitti was a terrible actress

I do think though that he is profoundly out of order in using the adjective "boring" - to me he wrote the book on boring!

Until the next time.

Sunday, 22 March 2009

More on Saudi-Arabia

I recently mentioned this state in my first article about nations making themselves laughing-stocks as a result of bizarre ideologies.

In that article, I drew attention to the appalling sentence of whipping handed down to a 75-year-old widow for "mingling with men to whom she was not related."

Today I read in this IHT article that the Saudis consider themselves victims of terror carried out by Islamic extremists. In fact as the article explains, commendably the Saudis are training hard in order to defeat the jihadists.

Saudis training in anti-terrorist tactics
Picture: IHT

As Private Eye might remark: "shome mishtake shurely?" It is hard to believe that the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia needs my little blog to draw attention to the fact that the absurd Wahabi theocracy that prevails in the Kingdom can only serve to encourage those fanatical crackpots who wish to turn the world back to the fifteenth century with the aid of beards, burkhas, AK-47s and shaped charges?

Ironically the fanatics say they wish to destroy the Kingdom; whatever could they think up to replace it? The Taliban I suppose!

Until the next time

Saturday, 22 November 2008

An Islamic Twerp Raises his Profile

A short while ago I mentioned in a post about various Islamic brutalities and nonsense, one repulsive individual who rejoices in the name "Sheikh" Abdirahim Isse Adow.


Mmm, nice!
"Mr Whippy"  Image source: here

Yes this is Somalia's "Mr Whippy", if this does not seem too light-hearted for a bigoted, misguided, anachronistic, misanthropic, muslim barbarian.  Well, he has raised his head - and beard - once again.

Adow is very upset that the pirates who seem to have an easy time in hopeless Somalia, have hijacked what the cretin calls a "muslim" ship.  I wouldn't want a "muslim" ship to carry my $100,000,000-worth of oil: not much use to have a ship that turns around and faces Mecca three times a day!

Anyway he is referring to the Saudi-Arabian oil-tanker, hi-jacked last week by the pirates.  He says that the hi-jacking of a muslim ship (sic) is much more serious than the hi-jacking of any other ship, and in consequence says that his revolting followers will deal with the pirates.

With whips perhaps?  I should like to know if the Koran, as interpreted by Adow, deems that hi-jacking a "muslim" ship is naughtier than ladies and gentlemen dancing together.

It seems that this may be more complex than the "sheikh" imagines, since it is said that some of the worthy, god-fearing, upright islamites are sharing the spoils with the pirates (as are, by some accounts certain elements of what passes for the Somali government).

Quel bordel!

For some reason, this reminds me of a recent item in Private Eye, which reported how a police chief in Ghana was unable to explain how 2 tonnes of cocaine "disappeared" from his police headquarters...

Quel bordel!

Until the next time


Tuesday, 23 September 2008

The Curse of Gnome

The title refers to an occasional feature in the excellent satirical magazine Private Eye in which subsequent events have demonstrated that the Eye's forecasts/prognoses/analyses have proved to be correct.

The cartoon below appeared in the Eye in January this year...

Until the next time