Malala & Avaaz

Avaaz is running a petition in support of Malala Yousafzai's  campaign for female education in Pakistan.  You will recall no doubt that Malala is the 14-year-old Pakistani girl who was shot by the brave holy warriors of the Taliban.  Contemplating them makes it almost worthwhile believing in Hell.

Here's the link; apparently if 1,000,000 signatures are obtained, Gordon Brown will go to Pakistan to present the petition in person to the Pakistani president and media.

Yes, I agree that that is not a particularly inspiring thought (GB I mean) but at least it will be one in the eye for the Sharia Shits.

As I write this, nearly 423,000 have signed.

Until the next time

McEnroe Moment

There is a fair bit of argy-bargy at the moment concerning Dominique Strauss-Kahn's replacement as head of the IMF. It seems that some nations believe that it is time that a non-European headed the organisation.

The BBC reports that amongst the possible candidates is one Gordon Brown...

My reaction? "You cannot be serious!"

Until the next time

Bright Future for the €?

Like many, I have noticed gathering clouds around the European Single Currency, the Euro, with pressure building owing to the colossal debts of both banks and indeed, states.

Whilst living in England, which I did until five years ago, I was wholly opposed to the UK signing up to the Euro, and I believe that that was the correct view and now even more so.

So you might ask, why the title to this piece? The reason is pictured above; yes, Gordon Brown has suddenly appeared out of the woodwork after a few months' silence. This BBC article states:

'Former British Prime Minister Gordon Brown has told the BBC he fears the euro will face a "high noon" moment of reckoning early in the New Year.'

'"I sense that in the first few months of 2011 we [will] have a major crisis in the euro area," he told the BBC's business editor, Robert Peston.'

Yes, this IS the Gordon Brown who sold £15 billion worth of Britain's gold, which would probably now be worth £40 billion or perhaps even more...

So despite all the evidence to the contrary, I am now convinced that the Euro will soar in 2011!

Until the next time.

More on Bankers and the Financial Crisis

Source: Private Eye No 1231

Recently I wrote something about British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and Sir Fred Goodwin, erstwhile Royal Bank of Scotland chief executive.

It was reassuring to find today following the arrival of my copy of Private Eye, that Lord Gnome seems to agree as the cartoon reproduced above suggests.

There is interesting coverage in the same issue from "In the City". "Slicker" writing about the pension row says:

"What has followed has been little more than political posturing, not just by Harriet Harman but also by Brown, Darling and Myners. They all know that legally, Goodwin and his pension are probably bombproof but cannot admit that because of their failure to act back in October."

"Slicker" of course has a lot more to say - generally indicating that the situation has arisen ultimately for reasons of saving face - and of course Goodwin was reportedly a pal of Browns...

Finally, this evening I received an excellent email from a friend. For those of you who are baffled by the complexities of the "financial products" that led to the current crisis here is a straightforward explanation:

Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin. In order to increase
sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are
unemployed alcoholics - to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of
the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers
loans).

Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood
into Heidi's bar.

Taking advantage of her customers' freedom from immediate payment
constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the
most-consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank
recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and
increases Heidi's borrowing limit.

He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the
alcoholics as collateral.

At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these
customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These
securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really
understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are
guaranteed. Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the
securities become top-selling items.

One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager
(subsequently of course fired due his negativity) of the bank
decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts
incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's bar.

However they cannot pay back the debts.

Heidi cannot fulfil her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy.

DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95 %. PUKEBOND performs
better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80 %.

The suppliers of Heidi's bar, having granted her generous payment due
dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new
situation. Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is
taken over by a competitor.

The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-
clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties.

The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on
the non-drinkers.

Until the next time

Sorry about the formatting of the story above; HTM 'ell refuses as usual to let me do anything

Politicians? How I laugh at them

With bankers around the world being generally in bad odour as they are, probably correctly, being held responsible for the economic and financial crisis, there has arisen a superb opportunity for politicians to score, as they see it anyway, a few points.

A perfect example is that dour, unimpressive failure, British Prime Minister, Mr Gordon Brown. Mr P.G. Wodehouse wrote that "It is never difficult to distinguish between a ray of sunshine and a Scotsman with a grievance."

It is never difficult to distinguish between a ray of sunshine and Mr James Gordon Brown MP.

Given the staggering losses amassed by the Royal Bank of Scotland over the past year, and its subsequent "bail-out" by the British Government (taxpayer) Mr Brown is very upset that the erstwhile chief executive of the bank, Sir Fred Goodwin, is receiving a very large pension. Mr Brown, typically playing to the gallery, feels that Sir Fred is not entitled to this pension and says that he is investigating legal remedies to "claw back" Sir Fred's pension. Mr Brown , according to this BBC article, said "The behaviour in the Royal Bank of Scotland, where very substantial additional pension awards were given, is something that makes me angry and will make the public of the country angry," (playing to the gallery of course).

Sir Fred Goodwin
Picture: The Sun

Could this be the very same Mr Gordon Brown, who as Chancellor of the Exchequer, sold off a substantial part of Britain's gold reserves resulting in staggering losses for the country (i.e. the taxpayer)? And was it not Mr Brown who arranged matters such that the bankers were able to proceed with the risky practices that now (not in 2007...) attract such opprobrium? And how was this stupendous demonstration of incompetence punished? Why, they made him Prime Minister! If he is not a hypocrite, Mr Brown will no doubt understand when I state that I consider it entirely unacceptable that failure should be rewarded in this way and that I call on him to resign without delay and of course, sans pension.

Mr Spike Milligan of Goons fame once said "People in glass houses should pull the blinds before removing their trousers." Step forward Mr Brown - or on second thoughts, perhaps not.

A final word concerning Sir Fred and the bankers. During his time as chief executive, Sir Fred built up RBS into the world's fifth-largest bank; the bank was very profitable for some years. Sir Fred also built up a very large pension fund for himself, the last contribution to which, he claims, was authorised by the government last year. The pension fund is therefore Sir Fred's money. He will have used the money to buy an annuity. By what perverted interpretation of justice the government proposes to expropriate him of his personal assets I cannot imagine, but I should watch your wallets if I were you. And it is worth remembering that if Sir Fred pays standard UK income tax, the exchequer will receive something like £250,000 annually, just from the pension income.

Compare Sir Fred's career with that of the disastrous Lord Simpson. Simpson took over from Lord Weinstock as chairman of one of Britain's beacon success stories: GEC. Within five years his brilliant plans had turned this success story into a bankrupt ruin. No doubt he enjoys a fine pension still... (I am guessing but I'll bet I am correct!)

I hold no particular brief for bankers: whilst I accept that banks are necessary I consider them largely as robbers. Nevertheless, better ten Goodwins than one Brown (or Simpson!).

Until the next time