Wonderful - I Love It!

I have just been reading on Wired.com about Claude Elwood Shannon, described in the article as the "father of information theory" a description thta appears to be entirely justified, judging by the content of the article which of course lists Shannon's many achievements.

But for me, the thing "wot swung it" was the wonderful toy this genius had on his desk, described as "The Ultimate Machine".

I want one!

Please send me one - somebody.

Untilm the next time.

More Rubbish

It is reported today in the Daily Telegraph that a former BMI (British Midland Airways) stewardess, one Miss Lisa Ashton, has been sacked by the airline.

She lost her job because, outrageously in my view, she was required by her employer to wear a demeaning garment called an abaya (in plain black too) and walk behind all men regardless of their rank, when on duty in Saudi Arabia. An abaya in this case is a robe that covers the entire body except the face, so at least it is not as absurd as a "burkha," however there are abayas that cover the face, leaving only the eyes visible.  When I lived in West London, I used to see women dressed in these - enough to give one nightmares frankly.  In my search for the image reproduced below, I found that there are abayas whose appearance is improved by decorative embroidery.  Perhaps BMI should issue them decorated with the airline's logo?!

An abaya.  Image source: The Muslim Boutique

There are two points here. First, it is awful I think that such orders be issued by an employer; second, there is no law in Saudi Arabia that requires the wearing of this bizarre costume and neither is there a regulation requiring women to walk behind men.

Even more depressing, a British employment tribunal has upheld the company's decision.  The Telegraph article reports: It ruled there was no evidence that women would regard BMI's requirements on wearing the abaya, or walking behind men, as "placing them under any disadvantage."

The article quotes Miss Ashton as saying: "It's not the law that you have to walk behind men in Saudi Arabia, or that you have to wear an abaya, and I'm not going to be treated as a second-class citizen," she said.  "It's outrageous. I'm a proud Englishwoman and I don't want these restrictions placed on myself." 

Miss Ashton has contacted the human rights organisation, Liberty and may also seek a judicial review.

I for one, wish her the best of luck.

Until the next time.

A sort of coincidence - sex and travel

On 13th April, the Daily Telegraph reported the extraordinary case of a Norwegian driver, who whilst exceeding the speed limit was enjoying (I presume) sex with his girlfriend who was sitting on his lap (with her back to him). It seems that he will lose his driver's licence.

It is normally my practice to include pictures in my blog articles, but sadly it seems there are none available!

I was reminded of this story on reading on Wired.com today, an arguably even more extreme example of the genre: this time a helicopter pilot, one David Martz, in the (oral) act with a Swedish porn star (with the rather improbable name of Puma Swede) whilst flying; this was actually filmed! In the Wired article there is a censored edition. Meanwhile for the curious here is a snap of Miss Swede:

Image source: Wired.com/Autopia

Until the next time.

Operetta - and Blogging

A curious subject this, for what is generally a rant blog, but having lacked inspiration for a couple of weeks, and feeling disinclined to comment about the G20, Jade Goody etc. I have been somewhat lazy.

Finally this afternoon I decided I would like to read some poems of John Betjeman. It was easy to find "In Westminster Abbey", "Business Girls" and his masterpiece "A subaltern's love song."

However, as often happens, the Devil finds work for idle hands and I came across a wonderful parody of a famous Gilbert and Sullivan song. I have no intention of writing here about this famous partnership and of course Wikipedia has an excellent entry about them here.

The original song is from The Pirates of Penzance: "I am the Very Model of a Modern Major-general":

This video will remind you of the tune



I am the very model of a modern Major-General
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotepotenuse

I'm very good at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General

I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous
I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies
I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore

And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinapinafore

Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform
And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General

In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin"
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat"
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a gee

You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a gee
You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a gee
You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a sat a gee

For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General

But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General

Now for the masterly parody of the above (SOURCE):

I am the very model of a blogger very general.
I've a life that's existential and really quite ephemeral.
I know things geographical and sometimes cosmological,
From Timbuktu to Doctor Who and space that's hyperbolical.

I'm known to take up stances that are seemingly theatrical,
I sometimes put up blogs that are rhetorical not factual,
About political positions I express the strongest views,
With oh such vitriolic comments as I send to those j'accuse.

With oh such vitriolic comments as I send to those j'accuse.
With oh such vitriolic comments as I send to those j'accuse.
With oh such vitriolic comments as I send to those j'accuse.

I'm seen as someone serious and sometimes perspicacious,
I eschew every posting that is trivial or scribacious.
In short, I have a life that's existential and ephemeral,
I am the very model of a blogger very general.

In short, he has a life that's existential and ephemeral,
He is the very model of a blogger very general.

I know a pyrric victory can be somewhat heterodox,
I answer the agnostics, I've a liking for unorthodox,
I quote from almanacs all those predictions quite vicarious,
In comics I enjoy their blogs nefarious, hilarious.
I follow fellow blogger's trials, their lows to their epiphanies,
I know all those subscribing to the Greek school of Diogenese,
Then I can learn so very many things I never knew before,
And now "postglacial isostatic re-adjustment" makes one more.

And now "postglacial isostatic re-adjustment" makes one more.
And now "postglacial isostatic re-adjustment" makes one more.
And now "postglacial isostatic re-adjustment" makes one more.

Then I comment on those blogs that I think do clearly misinform,
And tell you ev'ry detail seeking your opinion to reform.
In short, I have a life that's existential and ephemeral,
I am the very model of a blogger very general.

In short, he has a life that's existential and ephemeral,
He is the very model of a blogger very general.

In fact, when I know Tok Pisin, and the fine art of baldaquin
When I can talk of Anne Boleyn and why King 'enry did 'er in
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I can Google at,
And whose tomb bears the inscription, "palman qui meruit ferat".
When I have learnt to progress beyond English rudimentary,
When I know more of grammar than a practiced prothonotary,
In short, when I've a smattering of syntactic ergativity,
You'll take bloggers very general into the fraternity.

You'll take bloggers very general into the fraternity.
You'll take bloggers very general into the fraternity.
You'll take bloggers very general into the fraternity.

For though my general knowledge, which is more than rudimentary
Has only been brought down by short-term failings of my memory.
But still, I have a life that's existential and ephemeral
I am the very model of a blogger very general

But still, he has a life that's existential and ephemeral
He is the very model of a blogger very general

Excellent and jolly clever I think.

Finally, whilst looking for the video above, I found another, posted by one Mr Grumpy:

A search on YouTube will demonstrate to the curious amongst you - who have time to spare - that there are numerous parodies of this famous tune - even including "I am the Very Model of a Modern Homosexual."

Until the next time