A curious subject this, for what is generally a rant blog, but having lacked inspiration for a couple of weeks, and feeling disinclined to comment about the G20, Jade Goody etc. I have been somewhat lazy.
Finally this afternoon I decided I would like to read some poems of John Betjeman. It was easy to find "In Westminster Abbey", "Business Girls" and his masterpiece "A subaltern's love song."
However, as often happens, the Devil finds work for idle hands and I came across a wonderful parody of a famous Gilbert and Sullivan song. I have no intention of writing here about this famous partnership and of course Wikipedia has an excellent entry about them here.
The original song is from The Pirates of Penzance: "I am the Very Model of a Modern Major-general":
This video will remind you of the tune
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotepotenuse
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General
I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous
I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies
I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinapinafore
Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform
And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General
In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin"
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat"
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a gee
You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a gee
You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a gee
You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a sat a gee
For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General
Finally this afternoon I decided I would like to read some poems of John Betjeman. It was easy to find "In Westminster Abbey", "Business Girls" and his masterpiece "A subaltern's love song."
However, as often happens, the Devil finds work for idle hands and I came across a wonderful parody of a famous Gilbert and Sullivan song. I have no intention of writing here about this famous partnership and of course Wikipedia has an excellent entry about them here.
The original song is from The Pirates of Penzance: "I am the Very Model of a Modern Major-general":
This video will remind you of the tune
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotepotenuse
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General
I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous
I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies
I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinapinafore
Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform
And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General
In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin"
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat"
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a gee
You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a gee
You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a gee
You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a sat a gee
For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General
Now for the masterly parody of the above (SOURCE):
I am the very model of a blogger very general.I've a life that's existential and really quite ephemeral.
I know things geographical and sometimes cosmological,
From Timbuktu to Doctor Who and space that's hyperbolical.
I'm known to take up stances that are seemingly theatrical,
I sometimes put up blogs that are rhetorical not factual,
About political positions I express the strongest views,
With oh such vitriolic comments as I send to those j'accuse.
With oh such vitriolic comments as I send to those j'accuse.
With oh such vitriolic comments as I send to those j'accuse.
With oh such vitriolic comments as I send to those j'accuse.
I'm seen as someone serious and sometimes perspicacious,
I eschew every posting that is trivial or scribacious.
In short, I have a life that's existential and ephemeral,
I am the very model of a blogger very general.
In short, he has a life that's existential and ephemeral,
He is the very model of a blogger very general.
I know a pyrric victory can be somewhat heterodox,
I answer the agnostics, I've a liking for unorthodox,
I quote from almanacs all those predictions quite vicarious,
In comics I enjoy their blogs nefarious, hilarious.
I follow fellow blogger's trials, their lows to their epiphanies,
I know all those subscribing to the Greek school of Diogenese,
Then I can learn so very many things I never knew before,
And now "postglacial isostatic re-adjustment" makes one more.
And now "postglacial isostatic re-adjustment" makes one more.
And now "postglacial isostatic re-adjustment" makes one more.
And now "postglacial isostatic re-adjustment" makes one more.
Then I comment on those blogs that I think do clearly misinform,
And tell you ev'ry detail seeking your opinion to reform.
In short, I have a life that's existential and ephemeral,
I am the very model of a blogger very general.
In short, he has a life that's existential and ephemeral,
He is the very model of a blogger very general.
In fact, when I know Tok Pisin, and the fine art of baldaquin
When I can talk of Anne Boleyn and why King 'enry did 'er in
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I can Google at,
And whose tomb bears the inscription, "palman qui meruit ferat".
When I have learnt to progress beyond English rudimentary,
When I know more of grammar than a practiced prothonotary,
In short, when I've a smattering of syntactic ergativity,
You'll take bloggers very general into the fraternity.
You'll take bloggers very general into the fraternity.
You'll take bloggers very general into the fraternity.
You'll take bloggers very general into the fraternity.
For though my general knowledge, which is more than rudimentary
Has only been brought down by short-term failings of my memory.
But still, I have a life that's existential and ephemeral
I am the very model of a blogger very general
But still, he has a life that's existential and ephemeral
He is the very model of a blogger very general
Excellent and jolly clever I think.
Finally, whilst looking for the video above, I found another, posted by one Mr Grumpy:
A search on YouTube will demonstrate to the curious amongst you - who have time to spare - that there are numerous parodies of this famous tune - even including "I am the Very Model of a Modern Homosexual."
Until the next time
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